A Journey Into Substance Abuse

            Getting drunk at the age of eleven, smoking pot all throughout high school, doing ecstasy and cocaine, and an obsession over crystal methamphetamine and heroin: this is the life of Nic Sheff. In his book, Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines, he elaborates on his struggle to regain control of himself after developing an intense reliance on drugs.

            As Sheff reminisces on the years of his life preceding his substance abuse, he cannot help but wonder what happened. He had a 4.0 GPA, an interest in surfing, was a published writer, part of the swim team, and a great big brother. As he went through his phase of smoking pot, he gradually began to opt for stronger substances, and developed addictions. He still felt as though he was in control and that he could cut his usage whenever he wanted to. This, of course, was a big fat lie.

            I have not gotten as far as I had hoped with the book, but I am sincerely enjoying it. Sheff, so far, has discussed the reasons why for his constant use drugs, and when he actually began to realize his addiction. He religiously denied that he was an addict at a young age; he was only experimenting. But when he began to manually inject the drugs into his veins, it gave him a high so powerful that all he ever wanted to do was recreate that moment. All his life aspirations blurred in front of his eyes, and he just wanted to reach that first high again. He began to change as well in order to support his addiction. He wrote himself checks and stole money from his family, amounting to even as little as five dollars from his younger siblings' wallets.

            He has also continually demonstrated his lack of self control by repeatedly relapsing after making progress with twelve step programs. Each time was different, depending on whom he was with and what he could get his hands on, but it was a cycle: go into the twelve step program, make a bit of progress, relapse. Although this book claims to be of Sheff's recovery, I have not quite read anything regarding his progress. He has, however, shared that he loved drugs and that he felt as though the drugs made him belong in the world where everyone seemed to have instruction manuals to life. The drugs were his personal instructions. They were his reason to be alive. This emphasizes his obsession with the substances, allowing readers to see that the road to recovery from substance abuse is not an easy one.

            I found myself in intense reading sessions with this book, and I find it to be an interesting read. I hope to see quite a bit of progress some time soon, but I am thoroughly captivated by this book. Look into it if you have time.