A Little Snap

HI Kids!  :)

So, here's what I am looking for from these revisions:

First, I'd like to see everyone practice PERFECT MLA set up.  I will have the ruler out when I look at your papers, so make sure your margins are one inch, all around.

I want a title that is NOT BORING, not a repeat of the prompt in any way.  How do we come up with titles?  One way that I sometimes use is I'll comb through my essay for a phrase that has a little snap to it, that is meaningful somehow.  I have to write FIRST, and come up with a title last.

Next, underline your thesis.  Is it argumentative, or descriptive?  Can you find it?  Is it one sentence, or two?

Comb through your essay and look for any of the "detractors of maturity and style and perspective,"  and delete any usage of "basically," "says," or "in today's society."

I want you to write at least two sentences that successfully use subordination, and please make sure that the MAIN clause contains the MAIN idea.

That's it!  Of course, you may revise any other portion of your essay to improve it, strengthen it, clarify it — but all we are focused on for THIS paper are five things:  MLA, title, thesis, detractors and subordination.